Hello, and thank you for your interest in The Wake! Sorry for the wait.
Before we consider your application for approval, we'll need several revisions.
Personality needs a lot more fleshing out, as it feels like it belongs in a history section than explaining what makes him tick. By "Inner strength", what that mean exactly? Is it courage? Is it stubbornness? Is it a want to find more strength? Would that strength be to help others around him, or just himself? Is he a selfish character? Is he conscious of others? Please explain more in detail as at the moment, he comes off as a generic soldier archetype and we want to know how true or untrue that is.
Network sample seems to mix both prose and action spam. We would prefer if you cleaned it up to be in an network style/action spam. We also can't really get a sense of his voice and it comes off as more we're hearing your voice rather than the character himself.
Third person sample is too short. Only 297 words. We would suggest you add some dialogue to it to flesh it out more.
Please let us know if you have any questions, and we look forward to your revisions.
no subject
Before we consider your application for approval, we'll need several revisions.
Personality needs a lot more fleshing out, as it feels like it belongs in a history section than explaining what makes him tick. By "Inner strength", what that mean exactly? Is it courage? Is it stubbornness? Is it a want to find more strength? Would that strength be to help others around him, or just himself? Is he a selfish character? Is he conscious of others? Please explain more in detail as at the moment, he comes off as a generic soldier archetype and we want to know how true or untrue that is.
Network sample seems to mix both prose and action spam. We would prefer if you cleaned it up to be in an network style/action spam. We also can't really get a sense of his voice and it comes off as more we're hearing your voice rather than the character himself.
Third person sample is too short. Only 297 words. We would suggest you add some dialogue to it to flesh it out more.
Please let us know if you have any questions, and we look forward to your revisions.