Hello and thank you for your interest in the Wake!
Unfortunately we will not be able to consider this character for application as her application was submitted.
The app is too generalized and it reads more like a resume than giving us a fuller view of what makes this character tick.
The personality section reads more like it's addiitonal information meant for the history section. The personality section is meant to show the character's personality and how it is connected to their history. It should echo the history section rather than being general history.
We also cannot get a clear or full sense of her character. Anger seems to be a big part of her personality but we cannot tell if she have a short fuse or a longer one that boils beneath the surface. She seems capable of bodily harm but why is getting on her bad side a big thing about her? As it is, it feels like she's just a trope example than a real character as she is written in the application. We need to know the character herself and how her past connects with her personality in the present. The hyperfocus on her being a sniper doesn't help either since we do not know how she functions outside of that role and without her gun and when there are many other facets that are mentioned but never touched upon (ie: her aristocratic background, why she was hidden away for training, her mixed heritage, etc how did this affect her? how does she view it now?).
Both samples don't also give a good sense of her character either. The third person sample especially is too short, as it's only 291 words. Which is under the 300 word minimum limit.
You may revise with proper changes and try again if you wish.
Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you for your understanding.
no subject
Unfortunately we will not be able to consider this character for application as her application was submitted.
The app is too generalized and it reads more like a resume than giving us a fuller view of what makes this character tick.
The personality section reads more like it's addiitonal information meant for the history section. The personality section is meant to show the character's personality and how it is connected to their history. It should echo the history section rather than being general history.
We also cannot get a clear or full sense of her character. Anger seems to be a big part of her personality but we cannot tell if she have a short fuse or a longer one that boils beneath the surface. She seems capable of bodily harm but why is getting on her bad side a big thing about her? As it is, it feels like she's just a trope example than a real character as she is written in the application. We need to know the character herself and how her past connects with her personality in the present. The hyperfocus on her being a sniper doesn't help either since we do not know how she functions outside of that role and without her gun and when there are many other facets that are mentioned but never touched upon (ie: her aristocratic background, why she was hidden away for training, her mixed heritage, etc how did this affect her? how does she view it now?).
Both samples don't also give a good sense of her character either. The third person sample especially is too short, as it's only 291 words. Which is under the 300 word minimum limit.
You may revise with proper changes and try again if you wish.
Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you for your understanding.