Hello, and thank you for your interest in The Wake! Before we consider your application for approval, we'll need several revisions.
In regards to the history section, you forgot to provide a bulleted summary of the key points to go along with the link as we requested.
We'd like you to edit the network sample to make it more clear he saw the announcement that John Conner made on the network, due to how it could be mistaken as you metagaming.
Your third person sample needs complete rewriting. Having Marcus understand Pokemon completely instead of merely inferring to what the pokemon are saying makes no sense as he doesn't have such a power in canon.
The app overall feels more like an app for Conner's Raichu rather than Marcus himself. We suggest editing this to make the focus on who you're supposed to be apping.
Also the third person sample is much too short. Only 238 words.
Please let us know if you have any questions, and we look forward to your revisions.
no subject
In regards to the history section, you forgot to provide a bulleted summary of the key points to go along with the link as we requested.
We'd like you to edit the network sample to make it more clear he saw the announcement that John Conner made on the network, due to how it could be mistaken as you metagaming.
Your third person sample needs complete rewriting. Having Marcus understand Pokemon completely instead of merely inferring to what the pokemon are saying makes no sense as he doesn't have such a power in canon.
The app overall feels more like an app for Conner's Raichu rather than Marcus himself. We suggest editing this to make the focus on who you're supposed to be apping.
Also the third person sample is much too short. Only 238 words.
Please let us know if you have any questions, and we look forward to your revisions.